The Best Ways to Write Your Vows
Photo by @mary_rose_photography on instagram
Make the vows the centerpiece of your wedding day!
The exchange of vows at a wedding is such a sweet moment between the couple. It is a moment to reflect on the relationship before, during, and after the wedding day. It is an accumulation of feelings, heartfelt sayings, and declarations of love! Most of the time it's hard to express in words what all you want to say to your partner. There is just so much to say that it's hard to get pen to paper and write everything down. Exchanging vows is arguably the most important of the whole ceremony, but what should you be saying? Oftentimes the vows are overlooked during the rest of the planning, but taking a moment (or two) to write these and put your whole heart into them makes for a really special minute of your wedding day.
Tip No. 1
Why do vows matter?
What exactly are vows? And why do we say them? Vows are the intimate words exchanged during the ceremony (or before if you're doing private vows). It can be religious, but most of all it is an expression of your undying love for each other. It is the promises you are giving to each other as you're moving into the chapter as spouses. Vows serve as a reminder and verbal commitment to a lifelong relationship and love with each other. They are kept close to the heart and are something to look back on during the bad times and the good! They express love, values and expectations as you move into this next chapter with each other.
photo by @foxandivory on instagram
Tip No. 2
Say it from the heart!
Whether you want it to be a long declaration or make it short and sweet, it should first and foremost be directly from the heart. If you're not used to it or it doesn't come easy for you to speak emotionally out loud, taking a moment to map out what you want to say is a good way to work up to it. There are tons of templates online and ideas for what phrases you should say, but if it doesn't actually sound like you, it may seem like you're reading a script. The most important thing you can do when starting to write these, is to reflect on your relationship with your partner and remember what it is that makes you love them so much!
photo by @foxandivory on instagram
Tip No. 3
Should I do private vows?
Deciding whether you want to do private vows or say them at the ceremony is completely up to you, as the couple. We’ve seen people do it all sorts of ways, but like we said, whatever feels most like you is what you should do. The sweetness of private vows during a first look makes for an incredible intimate moment before you walk down the aisle. Not only is it super photogenic, but it helps you and your partner take a beat during what can be a really overwhelming day.
Deciding to do vows in front of your guests is also an option! It is a public declaration of your love for one another and oftentimes is a great way to have your guest witness such a special moment during your wedding day. Public vows set the tone for the wedding day and can really make the room (and likely you) break into happy tears!
photo by @ajabelmanphoto on instagram
Tip No. 4
Add something fun!
It's easy to find yourself at a loss for words during the process of writing your vows. It’s not every day that you are declaring your love for one another verbally. Riddling them with inside jokes and stories helps them become unique to you and your relationship. We recommend making them as unique to you and your partner as possible. It can also make them easier to say out loud and helps calm nerves when you're reciting them. These are words of undying commitment to each other, but who says a joke or two won't land? This is a chance to express how much your partner means to you, so making it your own is the best way to express that.
photo by @courtneyfitzpatrickphoto on instagram
Tip No. 5
Do I have to make them traditional?
Traditional vows are just as special as written ones in our opinion. Typically, these traditional vows are administered by your officiant and often end in “I do”. They are often a back and forth conversation between you and your partner. Telling each other what you promise to do, be and act throughout your marriage and for the rest of your lives. Having this tradition be a part of your wedding day, in our opinion, helps it become more real. It’s what we have always seen in the media and growing up. Traditional vows are a really loving addition to your day!
photo by @toriphillipsphoto on instagram
Tip No. 6
Just some encouragement!
If we are being honest, this blog isn’t about what you should write or what you should say. We want this to serve as encouragement for you to put your whole heart into what you want to say. Being honest with yourself, reflecting on your love, and maybe putting on a love song can definitely get you in the groove of things. Doing things like getting a special journal or nice paper to write your vows are a great way to start as well! Tell your partner how much you love them, value them, and how much you can't live without them! That is truly what makes vows special and feel complete.
photo by @photogenique_imaging on instagram
Tip No. 7
Practice makes perfect!
Lastly, practice saying them out loud. You don't want your first time saying them to be right in front of your future spouse. Just like any speech, take breaths, talk slow, and really make sure that what you are saying is coming across clearly! Using the basics of doing a speech is great, just make sure that it still sounds like you!
photo by @thisisfeeling on instagram
Vows are the framework of your relationship!
They are what you want the foundation to be and act as. Not only are you making promises to your partner, you're making promises to yourself. A promise to forever love your partner through thick and thin and in sickness and health. Whatever comes from the heart that day is exactly what you should be saying. It’s your day, make these your words!
Chicago day-of wedding coordination
Learn more about day-of wedding coordination for your Chicagoland wedding.
